June 17th, 2008
I’ve Been Busy. Kiss It.
Yea, I’m well aware it’s been a month or something since I last shared one of my daily embarrassing moments with the entire internet. Believe me, it’s not like I haven’t wanted to. It’s not like every time I accidentally stepped on a dirty tampon or hit my head on a doorframe, I wasn’t immediately thinking “God DAMN it! Get me a laptop!”.
I’ve been busy, for one. My parents are up visiting until August and don’t let me drink at home which SEVERELY cuts down on my nighttime hilarity factor, for two. And thirdly, I guess I’ve just had some other things going on. Like condo shopping, hiding from my family, buying shoes and chasing random crackheads out of my car. Yea, you heard that right. My car was broken into right outside my office yesterday. I came around the corner to see the bastard hanging out my window. I must’ve done about a quadruple-take of the situation before yelling at him to get the hell out.
At least now I know what I do in a crisis. Apparently, I yell and wave my hands in the air and jump up and down like a retard. I would’ve thrown something at him, but unfortunately the only things I had in my hands at the time were my blackberry, my wallet and my car keys, any of which would have been more like doing him a favor. So instead, the freakshow jumped out of my window and hauled ass away on a pink girls’ 10-speed while I watched him fade into the distance with my 2nd generation, broken click-wheel iPod in his hand. You possibly might have made yourself a dollar with that, sir. I salute you.
So with that said, I’ll start posting more regularly again. No really. If there’s one thing I never lack, it’s new material.