May 27th, 2008
Worcester: Putting the “Ass” in Massachusetts
As seen on Rte. 146 during lunch today.
Archive for the 'Random' Category
May 13th, 2008
Sunday Afternoon Delight, Mother’s Day Style
Upon arriving at Keith’s house …
AnnMarie: “Guess what!”
Keith: “What?”
AnnMarie: “I haven’t showered since Friday, I’ve been wearing these pants for 3 days, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t brush my teeth this morning. And it’s all for you, babe! ALL FOR YOU!!!”
Keith: “Lucky me…”
May 9th, 2008
They Never Came Up On My Guidance Counselor’s Directed Search in High School
AnnMarie: i wish i were a high-class madam
AnnMarie: i bet i would make a good one
Sarah: i seriously doubt it
AnnMarie: what! why?
Sarah: that you wish you were one
AnnMarie: no i do
Sarah: ok……
AnnMarie: it just seems so glamorous
AnnMarie: that or a hairdresser
Sarah: um, i doubt its glamorous at all….
AnnMarie: yea
AnnMarie: there is probably a lot of accounting
AnnMarie: you know how i feel about math
Sarah: yup
May 1st, 2008
IM Convo: Harrassing People Is A Team Sport
JonB (Away): DND - Studying.
* * *
Adam: i think JonB is asking for being disturbed w that away message
AnnMarie: i thought so too but that’s like poking a bear with a stick
Adam: haha
Adam: what, is he going to eat you?
AnnMarie: no but i’ll get yelled at
AnnMarie: you do it
Adam: nah
AnnMarie: say “annmarie wants to know why you don’t just go offline like a normal person, but instead have to put up some dumb away message like some retardo montalban”
AnnMarie: fine i will poke the bear
Adam: that’s what she said
AnnMarie: i am going to get so fucking yelled at
Adam: haha
* * *
AnnMarie: why don’t you just go offline like a normal person instead of putting up some dumb away message like some retardo montalban?
JonB (Autoreply): DND - Studying.
* * *
AnnMarie: he hasn’t said anything yet
AnnMarie: but he did come back online and then go back off again
AnnMarie: oh here he goes
* * *
JonB: in case my team needs me for a quick q
JonB: chatting with you = retardo mpntalban
AnnMarie: dude. learn how to type
JonB: dude. don’t make me block your ass.
AnnMarie: i won’t but you can kiss it, smooch smooch
* * *
AnnMarie: he said he was gonna block my ass
AnnMarie: but i told him he can kiss it instead
Adam: ohhh zinggggggggggg
April 29th, 2008
IM Convo: Someone Get Uwe Boll On The Phone, I Have His Next Movie Idea
Jake: im depressed and bored with life
AnnMarie: have you been taking your pills you’re supposed to take?
Jake: i dont have any pills
AnnMarie: i thought you had the zoloft?
Jake: nah
Jake: i dont like the way it all makes me feel. i feel generic. like a clone. not me anymore
Jake: plus i had really bad gas that smelled like pure sulfur
AnnMarie: that’s just bizarre
AnnMarie: maybe your ass was the portal to hell. hahahah
Jake: yes
April 29th, 2008
It’s Been 3 Months And Going Strong. Fist-pump!!!
As far as I’ve been able to tell from the state site, I’m a few weeks overdue. I must’ve passed like 100 speed traps by now, too. I’m like The Legend of Billie Jean: Emissions Standards Edition.
April 28th, 2008
The Awards For Best Away Messages This Week Go To…
1st Place:
David B: (Away) Click me for candy!!!
Honorable Mention:
Jake R: (Away) Pirate
April 25th, 2008
I Like to Sneak Into My Friends’ Offices At Lunch And Leave Random Notes On Their Monitors
This one is a sure bet to confuse… :)
April 25th, 2008
I’m Shocked This Didn’t Happen To Me; Shocked.
And I know I would’ve written the same damn message…
April 22nd, 2008
Worst Pick-Up Line I’ve Heard in a While
Location: In line at the Honey Farms on Highland Street
Date: Today at 12:20pm
Culprit: Some random dude around 22, sideways Yankees hat, baggy pants, limited edition sneaks, bedazzled hoodie. You know the type.
Me: (to clerk) Can I get a pack of American Spirits yellow?
Random Guy: American Spirits… those are cigarettes?
Me: Yeah.
[Pause]
Random Guy: Damn, girl. Can I get in touch with your spirit?
Me: Wow.
Me: That’s one for the books.