AnnMarie: omg
AnnMarie: i have facebook open
AnnMarie: and there’s this ad for “the new rolling razor”
AnnMarie: like for women
Duffy: rolling?
AnnMarie: it says, and i do not kid, “The new iPod of Shaving is Finally Here”
AnnMarie: i don’t even know, honestly it looks like a cross between a vibrator and a cock ring with a razor on it
AnnMarie: that’s gonna get confused and result in all sorts of bad for someone
Keith and I had a few drinks at the Dive Bar last night. When I dropped him off, he told me to txt him when I got home …
1:01am AnnMarie: I’m home. P.S. Ran over something in your driveway, either animal or one of my shoes. Might want to check that out.
7:24am Keith: yea you def ran over your own shoe
7:41am AnnMarie: Wonderful
7:54am Keith: yea you kinda killed it a little :)
7:55am AnnMarie: Eh, those were cheap ones. It’s ok. But dang you coulda told me something fell out, I thought it was a cat.
7:55am Keith: Yea a cat would have been bad. And I obviously didn’t realize or I would have picked it up babe.
8:51am AnnMarie: A cat would’ve exploded
10:03am Keith: And I would have had to shovel it off so I’m glad it was just a shoe
Upon arriving at Keith’s house …
AnnMarie: “Guess what!”
Keith: “What?”
AnnMarie: “I haven’t showered since Friday, I’ve been wearing these pants for 3 days, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t brush my teeth this morning. And it’s all for you, babe! ALL FOR YOU!!!”
Keith: “Lucky me…”
AnnMarie: i wish i were a high-class madam
AnnMarie: i bet i would make a good one
Sarah: i seriously doubt it
AnnMarie: what! why?
Sarah: that you wish you were one
AnnMarie: no i do
Sarah: ok……
AnnMarie: it just seems so glamorous
AnnMarie: that or a hairdresser
Sarah: um, i doubt its glamorous at all….
AnnMarie: yea
AnnMarie: there is probably a lot of accounting
AnnMarie: you know how i feel about math
Sarah: yup
Ever have one of those days when you’re so goddamn tired, you get out of the elevator at work and have no idea where you are and wander around the lobby for like a minute completely lost and confused until you realize hey, wait a second. I work here. And then shuffle off to your office like nothing happened, past all of your co-workers who are randomly standing there watching the show and looking at you like you’re crazy?
Yeah……..
Jake R: (Away) obama = the suck
First Place:
Dave: (Away) In heavy meetings all day with big deal execs. We’ll see how often I can hide references to penises in my presentation.
Honorable Mention:
David B: (Away) I like verbs that are things. I think I’m going to sandwich after I sofa here for a bit.
AnnMarie: when are you going to be in my building again? i have something for bryan and i don’t want to bring it down
Jon B: prolly not this week
AnnMarie: how do i get this down there without having to go?
Jon B: inter-office mail?
AnnMarie: it’s an ethernet hub
Jon B: so? put it in a box
AnnMarie: i don’t have any
Jon B: i guess you’re shit outta luck then
AnnMarie: lame
AnnMarie: will you inter-office me a box?
Jon B: no
AnnMarie: come on
Jon B: negative
AnnMarie: what if i put in a helpdesk ticket for a box and assign it to you?
Jon B: i’ll close it
Jon B: unless it’s your box. then i’ll assign it to keith.
AnnMarie: that zing was lame-o
Jon B: face it. you got 0wned. don’t be angry about it.
AnnMarie: if i admit i got 0wned will you send me a box?
Jon B: nope
[pause]
AnnMarie: that’s crap
AnnMarie: i’m going to play a practical joke on keith today
Sarah: cool
Sarah: like what?
AnnMarie: you know how i’m going to that wedding with him?
Sarah: yeah
AnnMarie: i am going to tell him i bought this dress and i’m wearing it to the wedding
Sarah: oh good god- where did you find that monstrosity?
AnnMarie: ahaha it was on highland street just now
Sarah: its too ugly….
Sarah: fugly
Sarah: fucking ugly
Sarah: my eyes hurt
AnnMarie: i spotted it from the sole’s parking lot and was like omg i know just what to do
Sarah: hahahaha
Sarah: poor kevin
AnnMarie: ya it’s going to be funny
AnnMarie: omg look at keith’s wall on facebook
Sarah: oh, he’s gonna catch some shit for that! hahaha
Sarah: nicely done
AnnMarie: thank you, thank you
AnnMarie: it’s what i do
While perusing the specials today…
Adam: “Huh. A foot-long chili dog. And you can get an additional foot-long for $1.99!”
AnnMarie: “I wonder if that means you get a two-foot-long chili dog, or two one-foot-long dogs.”
Adam: “I think you need to ask our loony tunes witch waitress that when she comes over here. Like I will pay you money to ask her that.”
AnnMarie: “Only if you ask for an additional 6 pickels again.”